In high school (I just graduated last year) I was a member of the varsity cheerleading squad. Besides the freshman, I was the ONLY virgin on the squad. The only thing my teammates talked about was their most recent sex partner and their latest heartbreak. Because I didn’t have any relevant stories to share, I was kind of an outsider on these conversations. I didn’t mind though, because from their stories and frequent tears I learned that my teammates were extremely insecure and sad.

My friend Katie had an emptiness that she tried to fill by sleeping with guys to get attention, receive affirmation, and feel loved. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. The guys she slept with never stuck around. As soon as they got what they wanted, they were out and as a result, she always complained about being ugly & a looser. She felt dirty. Katie couldn’t understand why she couldn’t keep a guy and why after sleeping with him, instead of feeling better, her self-esteem dropped. I didn’t want this—I have enough insecurities as it is. Loosing my integrity over a guy?—Not worth it.

Growing up…especially in high school, most of my friends were guys. I heard the way they talked about my teammates. They joked about how easy it would be to sleep with them– called them sluts, etc. They had no respect for the girls whatsoever. Who wants to be the topic of that sort of conversation? Definitely not me.

From what I could see, sex wasn’t and still isn’t worth it unless I know for sure that the guy truly loves me and will stick with me. The only way to prove you mean that, in my opinion, is through marriage.

In high school I dated some really cool guys such as a star football player who now plays for Duke University. With these relationships, I knew I had their respect because I told them up front what I would not do. I made sure that in addition to physical attraction there was friendship too.

It’s hard to stay a virgin when everyone else seems to be sexually active but don’t let people trick you into thinking they’ll “love you” IF you have sex with them. If they respect you and really love you, they’ll wait. If you’re thinking about having sex, take a minute to think about why. Is it because you want to make your boyfriend/ girlfriend happy? Because you want to feel accepted? You think it will help you fit in? None of it will last. You’ll be left feeling the same way or worse than you did before.

If you’ve already lost your virginity you don’t have to keep having sex. You can decide now that you’re worth more and wait from this point forward.

My virginity is one of the most valuable things I have. I haven’t let guys use my body for their momentary gratification…instead I’ve earned their respect. You deserve to be respected too.

Danielle, 18 years old

The program truly changed my life. I was able to let all of my feelings surface. Together, we nurtured every one of them. Everything from anger, victimization, shame, guilt, hurt, regret, sadness, sadness and sorrow to FORGIVENESS! I learned that I was not alone. I learned this by listening to other women’s experiences. I learned by listening to myself! Before going to the WPC, I didn’t know how I felt. I never gave myself a chance to think about what I had done. I wanted to pretend that it never happened, but the issues came out in other areas of my life, especially in relationships.

I truly mean it when I say that the WPC, and the women who work there, have changed my life. I am free, I have forgiven myself and I believe that God has given me a new start!

A few months after the group ended, a friend called me to tell me that she was pregnant. She was seriously considering having an abortion. I was able to comfort and talk to her from my own experiences. She decided to keep the baby! The education and understanding I received at the WPC is invaluable. I never knew how much healing I needed and never imagined how much I would benefit from the abortion recovery support group.

-Christine, Santa Monica, CA

Initially, she came to the center seeking healing for a past abortion, which had been a struggle for her. She was sure she did not want to repeat the past. She was adamant that she wanted to keep her child.

This young woman was scared, depressed, and very much alone. Her family was not there to provide support. Shortly after she discovered that she was pregnant, I received a phone call. You see, I was the father of this unborn child.

Enter the Westside Pregnancy Clinic. Throughout those somewhat dark months, the angels, or should I say counselors at the Center reached out to us both. They helped us explore all our options, they supported us in our decision to be parents, and they referred us to a family counselor who assisted us. The Center didn’t just care about the mother, the Center reached out to us both. The Center cared about the whole picture, about what was going on in our lives. Most importantly, the Center cared intently for a little princess named Isabelle before she was even born.

Beyond a doubt this experience has completely changed my life. Looking back those were some of the most unexpected and difficult months I have ever faced. You go from being responsible for yourself, which is tough enough, to suddenly being responsible and caring for a precious new life.

I can wholeheartedly tell you that I am very thankful that I am the proud Daddy of Isabelle.

-Tom, Culver City, CA