When I found out I was six weeks pregnant, I was homeless, unemployed and slipping into a fierce depression. I had recently resigned from my position at a wonderful non-profit working with the homeless in Skid Row to pursue other professional venues. Three weeks of sleeping on a friend’s floor was taking its toll on me both physically and emotionally as I had recently broken up with my boyfriend of one year and forced to move out of our shared apartment.
When I told the people I was staying with that I was pregnant, I expected support in making one of the biggest decisions of my life: to have a child. Initially, they advised me that they would support any decision I made, until I made it clear that I was keeping the baby. I was then told how irresponsible, selfish and in so many words unfit I was as an individual to raise a child. I knew immediately that in order to keep my baby, I must obtain a healthy, affordable and supportive place to live just to think out the decision I had made in my heart. I crumbled, feeling the desperately needed support dissipate from people I considered my only family here in California. I was going to go at it alone in this.
Humbled, I reflected on my experiences as an experienced social worker and program manager; I was someone who had traveled many parts of the world and spoke nearly three languages. Was I not resourceful, educated, and fearlessly resilient when difficulty crossed my path? Did I not deserve a chance to at least try?
Confused, I scheduled the abortion that my friend and her mother strongly advocated for while crying inside that I was going against my moral code. I cried non-stop while sitting in my car to talk to a close friend in my native state of Michigan. I just needed a way out of this living situation. A chance to breathe; an opportunity to regroup and focus on changing the variables in my life. If I were meant to bring this child into the world, a way would be found to do it. I worried: How would I afford this baby? Who would support me through this pregnancy? Where would I live? What would people think of me, now that I was already being judged by those closest to me? But most importantly, by choosing to have this child, would I fail?
It was while searching for symptoms of pregnancy on the Internet that I “accidentally” clicked on WPC’s website and not so accidentally changed my life. I had never heard of WPC or even cared about the available resources until I saw that they offered free counseling. I immediately scheduled a counseling appointment for the following day since I felt hope slipping away. That day, I met with a WPC counselor. After our meeting, she asked if I would like to receive an ultrasound. I answered yes.
When I saw and heard my baby’s heart beat so strong and clear on that screen, I knew I had to try harder and believe more. One of the women at the Center made some phone calls and before I left that afternoon, gave me the telephone number for a local maternity home. After leaving WPC, I immediately called and scheduled an interview. Two days later, I moved into my own safe haven. Presently, I am employed by a fantastic non-profit in the area and planning for my Christmas baby this December. Without WPC’s resourcefulness and non-judgmental compassion, I would not be in the position I am in now. They helped me rediscover who I am and strengthened my faith that things are possible, against immeasurable odds. Due to my current employment, I can afford an apartment, healthcare for myself and provide relatively well for my child when the time comes. I also know that I have support from WPC and the residents and staff of the maternity home when I need it. In choosing to become a single mother, I am choosing to sacrifice the rest of my life for this baby. But it is this baby that, in many ways, saved my life and is bringing out the best in me by renewing my sense of perseverance, joy, family and faith.
-Rafaela, Los Angeles, CA